Today marks the end of 18 months of some of the hardest days and by all accounts the best days of my life. I am ending my pumping (nursing) journey. I feel so deeply connected and passionate about breastfeeding, which is why this end is difficult.
So many people don't understand and one person even smirked at me when I sad I’m feeling bittersweet about this end. Well, I NEVER was able to bond with my child the way I wanted by having a traditional relationship (so of course I feel defensive) as I do know how important it is to give your child the best start, so I did pump for 18 months. I am undoubtedly proud of myself as the majority of people I've encountered would not give it a second thought to switch to formula if their nursing relationship was not working out. For me and my family, formula was neither an option nor a choice I was comfortable with. In the 18 month time span there have been at least 4 major recalls on various formulas. How can you trust the companies to feed that to your littlest, most innocent and defenseless family members. With that being said, you must do what is best for your family and for some formula is the solution.
I am excited about being able to wear under wire bras (in a week or two), not having to carry all my ice packs around with my pumping 'stuff;, not having to pump and drive, not constantly having to make sure Jim has not run the dishwasher so I can put my pump stuff in it, ALL.THE.TIME. I will gain back! It is quite liberating.
I am so proud of myself to have made it this far. 18 months is a huge victory (my original goal was 6 months). I pumped while in grad school full time, while interning and having mastitis and countless nipple infections.
I would not have made if for not the amazing support I have found through my wonderful LLL friends. My pumping journey has truly changed my life as I have made some amazing connections to people whom I would never have met otherwise. The families that I donated milk to, my friends that I have made at the LLL groups and the people that friends have referred me to lend help and support to who are going through similar situations. I’m so grateful that this adversity has been such an amazing and positive experience. As almost always the case, the best things in life don’t come easy!
The Beach Kellys
Monday, March 12, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
So how much does it cost to have a baby these days?
These are the three birth choices I was interested in:
1. Out of pocket through my OBGYN Complete Women’s Care (which incidentally is what they call their self pay option…)
a. OBGYN Fees-(payments broken into 5 payments= 950, 950, 600, 400, 95) these fees are for the 13 visits. Ultrasounds are 269 each. A fetal stress test is 115 (there are a few other misc. fees involved too…so for inclusive sake Ill add an extra 150. Which Im sure is on the low side)
b. TO Deliver the baby- 3,490
c. Hospital fees- 3,400 (to deliver the baby and immediate assoc expense)
d. Room/Board a day (minimum 2 night stay) 975
TOTAL- 12,520
2. Using Private Health Insurance- Plan in question is Optima Plus 3000 plan (3,000 deductable with 20% coinsurance)
a. 108 monthly premium associated with the maternity rider (you must have it 6 months prior to conception and of course the 10 months after-one additional month for post partum care)= 1,728
b. Deductable of 3,000 must be met. We’ll assume that we’ve all be healthy this year and it HAS NOT for these purposes (furthermore, who’s to say the birth doesn’t happen at the beginning of a new ‘calendar’).
c. 20% coinsurance of 3400 + 975 +975= 5,350$ =1070
d. 350 Global deductable which includes all of the doctors visits, u/s’s , lab work, etc
TOTAL- 6,148
3. Depaul MWC
a. 2,570 includes ALL 13 office visits, U/S’s, lab work
b. 1,400 Hospital fees for one night ($800 for the second night if needed)
Total- 3,970
• The nice thing, aside from the all the wonderful things about the MWC is that is something were to go wrong and they do transfer you to the traditional L&D side, there is no price hike. This is there standard self pay rate for the MW’s or the Dr’s.
1. Out of pocket through my OBGYN Complete Women’s Care (which incidentally is what they call their self pay option…)
a. OBGYN Fees-(payments broken into 5 payments= 950, 950, 600, 400, 95) these fees are for the 13 visits. Ultrasounds are 269 each. A fetal stress test is 115 (there are a few other misc. fees involved too…so for inclusive sake Ill add an extra 150. Which Im sure is on the low side)
b. TO Deliver the baby- 3,490
c. Hospital fees- 3,400 (to deliver the baby and immediate assoc expense)
d. Room/Board a day (minimum 2 night stay) 975
TOTAL- 12,520
2. Using Private Health Insurance- Plan in question is Optima Plus 3000 plan (3,000 deductable with 20% coinsurance)
a. 108 monthly premium associated with the maternity rider (you must have it 6 months prior to conception and of course the 10 months after-one additional month for post partum care)= 1,728
b. Deductable of 3,000 must be met. We’ll assume that we’ve all be healthy this year and it HAS NOT for these purposes (furthermore, who’s to say the birth doesn’t happen at the beginning of a new ‘calendar’).
c. 20% coinsurance of 3400 + 975 +975= 5,350$ =1070
d. 350 Global deductable which includes all of the doctors visits, u/s’s , lab work, etc
TOTAL- 6,148
3. Depaul MWC
a. 2,570 includes ALL 13 office visits, U/S’s, lab work
b. 1,400 Hospital fees for one night ($800 for the second night if needed)
Total- 3,970
• The nice thing, aside from the all the wonderful things about the MWC is that is something were to go wrong and they do transfer you to the traditional L&D side, there is no price hike. This is there standard self pay rate for the MW’s or the Dr’s.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
You're still pumping?
You’re still pumping?
At almost 17 months, this is a resounding question that is asked of me frequently. My resounding and very PROUD answer, is YES I am still exclusively pumping (due to my anatomy and daughter lack of a latch). Each additional month, I reflect and think how proud I am of myself and the love I have for my daughter that keeps me going.
There is so much guilt associated with motherhood. My Mom was an active member of the LLL while my sister and I were both infants. She nursed my sister until she was 24 months (she was a preemie) and nursed me until I self weaned at 18 months old. With the innate guilt, I felt the drive to give my daughter the same benefit of my milk that I had as a baby- 18 months of my milk-love.
I had a lot of grief in the beginning when she was born as I mourned the loss of a traditional nursing relationship. I felt “Is this weird to mourn the loss of being able to nurse my daughter?” I came to find out there are plenty of other women in my shoes. I belong to several online groups that support each other that are for exclusive pumping women.
Why would I mourn the loss of the relationship?
It’s such a short time. Your baby will get teeth and bite you. Formula is so much easier. You're going to raise a child that is co-dependent on you.
Those are just a few of the answers I have experienced. Well, yes it is just a short time, and by all means I want to make the most of it (this was my mantra when
I would get up to pump at 3:45 am for 4 months to continue establishing my supply even when my DD was SLTN).
The issue of biting is a whole other blog post that, even though I pumped I am qualified to write! Keep nursing even when they get teeth!! Your baby needs you.
Formula- easier?!! Recalls, bottle washing, mixing, making it the right temp. ..nope not a chance.
Boobs- always the right temperature, always there, no sterilizing or mixing.
One of the main principles of the LLL is to mother through nursing. When your infant is small there are 2 things that are as vital to their thriving, as air= their mother and their mother’s milk. When children are hurt and need comfort an the mother picks them up to nurse them- their little body’s are in a full body hug/embrace as they are being nursed. It is the utter (no pun intended) situation of comfort.
I am also proud that I have donated to 9 different families that had trouble making enough milk ranging from the stress of returning to work, several moms had their milk ducts cut when have breast reduction surgery , women with breast cancer whom had mastectomy’s and most common was women who adopted babies who could not fully induce lactation.
So yes, it has been quite the difficult journey riddled with guilt and I even mourn the thought that my pumping time is coming to an end. However, I am so proud of my hard work and dedication to not only help my daughter and give her the best start I could, but also help out many families. Take a moment to support other moms, it can be a hard journey (worth it more than words can express)
At almost 17 months, this is a resounding question that is asked of me frequently. My resounding and very PROUD answer, is YES I am still exclusively pumping (due to my anatomy and daughter lack of a latch). Each additional month, I reflect and think how proud I am of myself and the love I have for my daughter that keeps me going.
There is so much guilt associated with motherhood. My Mom was an active member of the LLL while my sister and I were both infants. She nursed my sister until she was 24 months (she was a preemie) and nursed me until I self weaned at 18 months old. With the innate guilt, I felt the drive to give my daughter the same benefit of my milk that I had as a baby- 18 months of my milk-love.
I had a lot of grief in the beginning when she was born as I mourned the loss of a traditional nursing relationship. I felt “Is this weird to mourn the loss of being able to nurse my daughter?” I came to find out there are plenty of other women in my shoes. I belong to several online groups that support each other that are for exclusive pumping women.
Why would I mourn the loss of the relationship?
It’s such a short time. Your baby will get teeth and bite you. Formula is so much easier. You're going to raise a child that is co-dependent on you.
Those are just a few of the answers I have experienced. Well, yes it is just a short time, and by all means I want to make the most of it (this was my mantra when
I would get up to pump at 3:45 am for 4 months to continue establishing my supply even when my DD was SLTN).
The issue of biting is a whole other blog post that, even though I pumped I am qualified to write! Keep nursing even when they get teeth!! Your baby needs you.
Formula- easier?!! Recalls, bottle washing, mixing, making it the right temp. ..nope not a chance.
Boobs- always the right temperature, always there, no sterilizing or mixing.
One of the main principles of the LLL is to mother through nursing. When your infant is small there are 2 things that are as vital to their thriving, as air= their mother and their mother’s milk. When children are hurt and need comfort an the mother picks them up to nurse them- their little body’s are in a full body hug/embrace as they are being nursed. It is the utter (no pun intended) situation of comfort.
I am also proud that I have donated to 9 different families that had trouble making enough milk ranging from the stress of returning to work, several moms had their milk ducts cut when have breast reduction surgery , women with breast cancer whom had mastectomy’s and most common was women who adopted babies who could not fully induce lactation.
So yes, it has been quite the difficult journey riddled with guilt and I even mourn the thought that my pumping time is coming to an end. However, I am so proud of my hard work and dedication to not only help my daughter and give her the best start I could, but also help out many families. Take a moment to support other moms, it can be a hard journey (worth it more than words can express)
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