You’re still pumping?
At almost 17 months, this is a resounding question that is asked of me frequently. My resounding and very PROUD answer, is YES I am still exclusively pumping (due to my anatomy and daughter lack of a latch). Each additional month, I reflect and think how proud I am of myself and the love I have for my daughter that keeps me going.
There is so much guilt associated with motherhood. My Mom was an active member of the LLL while my sister and I were both infants. She nursed my sister until she was 24 months (she was a preemie) and nursed me until I self weaned at 18 months old. With the innate guilt, I felt the drive to give my daughter the same benefit of my milk that I had as a baby- 18 months of my milk-love.
I had a lot of grief in the beginning when she was born as I mourned the loss of a traditional nursing relationship. I felt “Is this weird to mourn the loss of being able to nurse my daughter?” I came to find out there are plenty of other women in my shoes. I belong to several online groups that support each other that are for exclusive pumping women.
Why would I mourn the loss of the relationship?
It’s such a short time. Your baby will get teeth and bite you. Formula is so much easier. You're going to raise a child that is co-dependent on you.
Those are just a few of the answers I have experienced. Well, yes it is just a short time, and by all means I want to make the most of it (this was my mantra when
I would get up to pump at 3:45 am for 4 months to continue establishing my supply even when my DD was SLTN).
The issue of biting is a whole other blog post that, even though I pumped I am qualified to write! Keep nursing even when they get teeth!! Your baby needs you.
Formula- easier?!! Recalls, bottle washing, mixing, making it the right temp. ..nope not a chance.
Boobs- always the right temperature, always there, no sterilizing or mixing.
One of the main principles of the LLL is to mother through nursing. When your infant is small there are 2 things that are as vital to their thriving, as air= their mother and their mother’s milk. When children are hurt and need comfort an the mother picks them up to nurse them- their little body’s are in a full body hug/embrace as they are being nursed. It is the utter (no pun intended) situation of comfort.
I am also proud that I have donated to 9 different families that had trouble making enough milk ranging from the stress of returning to work, several moms had their milk ducts cut when have breast reduction surgery , women with breast cancer whom had mastectomy’s and most common was women who adopted babies who could not fully induce lactation.
So yes, it has been quite the difficult journey riddled with guilt and I even mourn the thought that my pumping time is coming to an end. However, I am so proud of my hard work and dedication to not only help my daughter and give her the best start I could, but also help out many families. Take a moment to support other moms, it can be a hard journey (worth it more than words can express)
